


Watching from the sidelines

by ramblesandshambles



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU, Caryl, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-05 15:19:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5380055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramblesandshambles/pseuds/ramblesandshambles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't want 'It... didn't ask for it!" Now he's watching from the side lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Carol tried to keep a straight face, they were sitting in his car outside her small apartment that she shared with her cousin Rick Grimes, that she could barely already afford and Daryl was laying it all down what he wanted to happen now. It wasn't like they even really knew each other. It was a drunken one night stand that they now both had to live with. Well she had to live with because he was getting the hell out of dodge. He was backing away and running out on her letting her deal with it all on her own.

_How could she have been so stupid to think he would help her._

It was like the worlds worst hang over. Two months ago Daryl had knocked at the door having just moved back into town looking for Rick to go out partying with instead he found Carol plodding around in pj pants and a tank top. Daryl had leaned against the door frame chatting away with her until she opened the door wider and invited him in. Got him a beer out of the fridge and one for herself and before they knew what was going on both of them were drunk and Rick still wasn't home yet.

Rick had invited him over and was running late. By the time he got there Carol and Daryl were onto showing each other tattoos stage and Carol was squeezing the muscles in his forearms. Rick just shook his head at both of them laughing like idiots in the lounge and went off to shower and change. He invited Carol along with them on their 'Boys night out.' They headed into town and one thing led to the other and Carol had gone home with Daryl.

They had an embarrassing awkward morning the next morning where they both woke up staring at each other. Awkward and embarrassed, both with hangovers.

"Did we?" Carol asked.

"Yeah I think so... you ok?" He asked her.

"I'm fine."

"Can I give you a ride home?" Daryl had asked her, she gave him a half nod, Daryl had gone to use the bathroom and Carol had gathered up all her clothes thrown them on. She walked around his room and saw a pretty thick little address book. She picked it up and looked through it. It was full of women's names and little marks beside them that Carol could only work out that those women gave head and which one's liked it rough thanks to the little index at the front of the book. She put it back quickly, she could hear him in the shower, she tip toed passed the bathroom door and was out the front door pulling her shoes on her feet as she started doing the walk of shame home, he didn't even try follow her or catch her up.

She called Rick to come get her when she realized her shoes were not made for walking twelve blocks home nursing a hangover. Rick had picked her up giving her the once over and the hangdog expression on her face.

"Dixon doesn't do relationships, don't expect anything more from him... you should really just keep away from him." Rick warned her.

"I'm not stupid... the guy has a black book on his dresser," Carol muttered, Rick didn't mention that it was probably Merle's but he didn't say anything. He knew that Carol wasn't the normal type to go home with a guy but the fact that he and Daryl were friends for such a long time leaned in Daryl's favour for her going home with him.

She didn't think twice about it until six weeks later she couldn't keep anything down and was vomiting every fifteen minutes night and day. She looked terrible and had big bags around her eyes that Rick thought she caught some kinda deadly virus of some sort. He thought she had food poisoning and then worried that she had something more deadly wrong with her. Carol didn't know what was going on and agreed that her cousin should take her to the hospital because she thought she could be dying or something.

He took her to the hospital where tests confirmed her worst fear... ** _pregnant_**... worst pregnant to a one night stand who didn't even call her again. Worlds worst hangover, Rick had to stop the car twice so she could throw up in the gutter on the way home. Worst than that Rick was suggesting that she needed to tell Daryl. 

She knew he'd been to the house once or twice since then because Rick had mentioned it. She passed him coming in one night and he'd said hello to her as she was heading out to her night job, he was friendly but aside the odd glance of appreciation of her body by glancing her up and down he didn't say anything or even offer a smile. She seen him driving away on his motor bike also when she was pulling into the drive one night after work but he never stuck around to see her. 

She rang him and had the most awkward conversation in history. Inviting him to come meet her for a chat. She suggested down the road from her and Ricks place. There was a small park, it usually had a take away van with some takeaway food and coffee. She was sitting on a fence balancing a coffee and a hot dog when she saw him pulling up outside the gates on his motor bike. He didn't look happy and he walked towards her like he was walking to the gallows. He waved away her offer of getting a coffee.

"Lets get on with it then." He muttered.

"Well I thought we should talk because..."

She didn't get a chance to finish. "What's wrong, you only called me up after six weeks to tell me one thing that you needed to talk to me about," Carol just stared at him because he'd barely said two words to her sober any other time she had seen him. "I knock you up?"

"Um... yeah... you did. I just thought we should talk about it." Carol took a sip of her drink.

"You getting rid of it?"

"No... no I'm not... why did you ask me?" Carol asked him.

"Just didn't see any point talking if that was the case... I need to think, when did ya find out?" He asked her.

"Yesterday."

"K... I'll pick you up tomorrow and six and we can talk then when I had a chance to think about it alright?" Daryl took a long look at her, "You need a ride home?"

"On your motor bike? Um no... its about one block. Do you want my phone number? My cell?"

"Nah I've got it... I took it off Ricks phone a few weeks back." Daryl told her, he nodded as a way of parting with her and he strided away from her. She just watched him leave and roar off.

They didn't even make it out of her driveway to talk. Daryl did the talking he was out... bailing on her and leaving her with his baby because he didn't want it. Didn't want to know and it was her choice to keep it or not but he didn't want to be involved. He asked her twice if she was sure she was keeping it, talked about adoption and then he just shrugged and told her he was out. 

"Its fine... its fine... I'll sort it." Carol told him as she tried to open the car door.

"I just don't want to be no one's daddy, its not you its just I don't want it." Daryl stared ahead, he looked at his hands, he picked at a tread on his pants. Everywhere but at her.

"I got it... you said it already," Carol was trying to get out the door. "You said it five times, I'm not dumb."

"You going to be ok? Is Rick home?" Daryl asked her as she opened the door and tried to get out of his car.

"No Daryl I'm not ok, you don't need to worry ok," she couldn't stop the tears. "Rick's home."

"Don't come looking for me I didn't ask for this." His voice sounded cold and hard. His hands were on the steering wheel as she glanced at him.

"If you change your mind its never going to be too late if you want in." She mumbled as she got out of the car.

"I won't change my mind." He told her. He waited until she was up the path before driving off. She waited until he was down the road to let her tears fall. She was so stupid thinking he would help her, they barely even knew each other. She made her way into the house picking up the phone and dialing numbers into it.

"Dad... its me...."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Daryl was sitting in his office of the workshop he owned with his brother. They been busy the past few years working on getting it just so. Merle straightened his shit out and even gotten married to a woman who didn't put up with any shit from him. One look and Merle pulled his head in and shut the hell up. Daryl didn't even know how he even managed to pull a woman like her. She was a lawyer and a really really good one. Michonne was the one that tripped Merle up one night out at a bar when he was trying a line on her. She put her foot of and dropped him on his arse, told him if he wanted a lady he should treat her like one. She gave him her card and dared him to call her.

It had taken him three days to grow a pair and call her. He wined and dined her and then he never looked back. She expected more from him and didn't put up with any of his games or anything that he tried to pull. She marched him down the isle and before he knew where he was he had a kid on the way and Michonne making demands that not only him but him and Daryl put their big boy pants on and build a business and get their lives on track.

Now here they were three years later and their business was booming. Michonne was working part time and Daryl was still single working and trying to keep out of everyones way. He long gave up hanging out with Rick Grimes. He got himself married after he knocked up Lori and on top of that if he went over there he saw pictures of his own kid smiling down at him from Rick's wall. 

Daryl was sitting waiting for Merle to be well and truly out of their shared office so he could look though his mail. He hadn't gone through it but if he was right there should be a letter there for him, there was a letter there for him most Thursdays for him, they had been coming thick and fast over the past couple of months. One a week, almost like a panic or a diary or some way of putting her thoughts on paper. It started when he was born, he got the birth notice, a photo, a tiny curl of his hair attached to the back of his baby photo put into a brag type of book. The weeks went past and he got a photo every couple of months. 

Daryl didn't know if he liked it or he didn't like it, he always read the letters, more than once. He kept it all locked away in a file at his house and he did have his photo in his bedroom. In his draw that he looked at most nights. He had some regrets with what he did but in the long run he still thought they both were better off without a deadbeat like him involved. Carol wrote about her father and the bond he developed with his grandson. It was a bitter pill to swallow, someone else raising your kid even if it was the grand parent. 

He flipped through the mail and he found it. Addressed to him, at his place of work. The letters used to come via Rick and now Rick must have given her the business address. He opened the letter and the photos fell out. A memory card dropped onto the desk. He picked it up and shoved it into the side of his phone. He knew it would be video. She'd started doing that when she found a new phone that she could video on. He hit play and watched his kid pull in a huge fish with his granddad.

He pretended he didn't want to read it or look at it but he couldn't help himself this time, he scrolled down through his contacts and found her number. Typed in two words and hit send. 'Thank you." He turned his attention to the letter that come with the photos and the video.

_Forth birthday today, tomorrow we are going to go to go down to the lake and have a go at fishing._

_I'm not very good at things like that but Jordan's found a book at pre school about fishing and he wants to do it._

_I think we will have to buy a fish on the way home._

_Dad's not doing so great, I've been preparing Jordan for the time when dad will no longer be here._

_I'm preparing for a time when dad will be gone, its heartbreaking and a hard blow to everyone. I don't know what to do._

_Jordan and Carol._

He dug in the envelope for the photos that he knew were in there. A little boy that looked like him and Merle holding a fishing rod standing by a man frail in a wheel chair. It didn't look like he was going to be around much longer, he been in remission according to a letter a couple of years ago but this time it come back and it wasn't going away. Daryl tried not to feel guilty about it. He wasn't, it was her choice. He traced his finger across the photos. A picture of him blowing out the candles. Another of them actually at the lake, she was laughing helping him hold a huge fish. He turned the photo over.

 _Success_ _.  We ate it all._

That was all that was written on the back of the photo. He had caught a fish. A big one too, he was surprised that Carol went fishing with him, most chicks were not into that sort of thing. He put the letter and the photos back into the envelope and shoved it back into his drawer, he didn't like to think about it... what he did and said to her that day. They were better off without having him involved. He had a positive role model with her dad not some fly by nighter that couldn't give them a stable home. It wasn't him.

He ignored his phone when it beeped back. He saw her name and he willed himself not to look at it. There was one word showing. Welcome. Why was she always so sweet and kind, why didn't she just hate him for not being there. Daryl stood up and wandered back off down the hall to his work shop to go do something to take his mind off the little boy in the photos.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no you guys are giving me so much support. Don't be mad.

"Thanks so much for helping." Carol thanked Rick Grimes and Shane Walsh for helping her unpack into the small house she just brought. The sink had been leaking and there was a small plumbing issue in the bathroom, both men had been there trying to help fix it up before she arrived. Rick had talked Shane into helping him give Jordan's bedroom a lick of fresh paint and they had painted the lounge room and Carol's bedroom. Shane had been painting the spare bedroom alone when Carol actually arrived at the house. The movers had been and most of her dad's old stuff was furnishing her new home.

Her dad had died four months ago and Jordan was due to start school soon. Rick's wife Lori suggested she move back and even offered her part time work in her baby store she run in town. Carol jumped at the chance to move back to be close to friends and have support for Jordan. She had money left from the estate that she could buy the house but she still had a small mortgage but nothing that she shouldn't be able to handle if she got another part time job. The fact that it was the same town Daryl lived in hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Its fine, if we didn't Lori would cut our nuts off." Shane told her good naturally. "Looks like Dixon." He gestured to the little boy who was riding a bike around the yard when he put the paint brush down and come out to greet the little boy. Jordan was riding his bike recklessly around the yard making motor bike noises.

"Does he... I don't remember really," Carol told him, she lied, his face run across her mind all the time. Blue eyes and sandy blonde hair, charm and a cheeky smile. He looked like his dad alright no matter how Daryl tried to deny him. She was surprised to get that one text from him. She was pleased, it meant he was opening her mail.

Both men worked with her unpacking as much as they could, Lori had invited them for dinner and but right now she needed to get to the store to buy some food for them. She was thankful that Lori had found her a baby sitter, a college girl who was going to college locally who needed a place to stay, she was Shane's second cousin and apparently really great with kids. Carol was thankful to find someone to help out with her son which also meant she could find a second job at night if she needed too. She just needed to find one.

They waved off Rick and Shane, piled back into the car again to go to the store. Carol did a quick count of the money she had in her wallet which wasn't a lot until Lori spotted her her first pay in advance. Lori said she would get her to do some free over time to earn it back so not to take it out of her pay. She had given Jordan a sandwich before heading into the store because he seemed to have no off switch when it come to food. She grabbed a trolley and her little boys hand and headed in.

As she moved around the food isle grabbing the bare essentials Jordan's eyes when to the toy isle where he spotted a pack of toy motor bikes that he felt he just had to have. Carol could have groaned, she was unfamiliar with the lay out of the store and she normally avoided anything with toys because Jordan was motorbike mad and really anything with wheels. one set of motor bikes was never enough and she really couldn't spare the money today.

"Can I have them?" He asked her.

"Not today remember, we just need a few things, if you are good you can get an ice block." Carol offered rather than forking out the amount for the motor bikes which taking them off the shelf and looking at the price of them that it could feed both Jordan and Carol for a couple of days. "Maybe Santa might bring something like that. Its only a few weeks away and who knows what might happen between then and now. You might just find that in your sack."

Carol filed that away in the back of her mind when she did get paid to pick up the motor bikes. Christmas was only about four weeks away and she hadn't even thought about buying him anything, she knew she had time to sort it out she'd just been so busy sorting out her fathers estate and trying to mend her's and Jordan's broken hearts. She didn't notice the man that turned into the isle and stop and stare at them. He watched them looking at the toy and put it back, turning away. He watched the little boy run off in one direction while the mother put a few more things in the trolley all the while putting stuff they needed in. He walked along slowly watching, not drawing attention to himself. He picked up the toy looked at it and walked to the checkout paying for it and heading outside.

She let him run off to the ice block freezer while she put a few items in her trolley and headed over to see what Jordan had chosen. As always he went for the plain lemonade ice block which for some reason he could have the choice of any type he like the tried and true and wouldn't step out of his comfort zone. Carol on the other hand would buy a different type every time she brought one. Jordan would spend a long time looking but always would go back to the tried and true. She knew he didn't get that trait from her.

"Good choice," She told him when she saw what he choose. They paid for their items and headed out to the car. She stuck him in the trolley to keep an eye on him while she put the food into the trunk of the car. Carol had just finished loading the last bag into the trunk of her car when she heard someone talk.

"Can I take that for you?" 

She looked up and nodded. Jordan was sitting right beside her and shielded his eyes to see the man. 

"You back in town Carol?" 

"Yes, um Jordan say hi to Mr Dixon," Carol offered Jordan, the little boy held his hand out, the man bent down and shook his hand. He opened up the bag he was carrying and handed him the toy motorbikes they had been looking at. Jordan let out a woop of joy and was so excited that he was beaming from ear to ear. He stammered out a thank you to the man.

"You can call me Merle... and tell your mommy I've got a real motor bike if you want to come look at it." Merle told him. Jordan's eyes lit up. "Daryl does too, that's my brother... he's got a shinny big Harley."

"You didn't have too... I was going to buy them when I got paid." Carol stammered when she saw the toys that were out of her price range. She could have killed him for bringing up Daryl to her little boy.

"Doesn't matter. You here for good or passing through?"

"Um I'm not sure yet," Carol picked up her little boy putting him on her hip, moving around to put him in the car seat. He was really to big to be carried but she didn't know what to do she had to do something with her hands. "I'm not here to cause trouble, I'm not. Rick suggested that I needed more family support, he's all I have left so.... I don't want anything from him. You don't even need to tell him I'm here."

"Oh he knows your here." Merle pointed to a motor bike that was driving into the parking lot. The bike drove right up and parked dangerously close to the back of her car. She didn't know what this was or what was happening. She had Jordan in his seat and her keys and her phone in her hand. 

"Carol... " Daryl pulled his helmet off his head, Carol was standing by the open back door of Jordan's seat. She glanced down at him but he was engrossed with his new toys he didn't appear to see anything.

"Look, I have to go," Carol told him. 

Daryl stared at her. "Do you want to talk?"

"Is there anything to say?" Carol asked him.

"Not really." Daryl said, "Maybe..."

"Well no point talking is there. Look I have to go, Rick and Lori are expecting us." Carol told him.

"For dinner? Where are you staying? There?" Daryl blurted out questions.

"Do you want to look at him?" Carol asked him quietly.

Daryl glanced towards the back of the car he could see arms and legs moving about, he shook his head. He pushed his bike back with his feet to unblock her path so she could move her car. He sat there watching her back out of the park, he saw a little blonde head turn towards him and Merle who was standing beside him. Jordan held up the motor bike and pointed at Daryl's bike and he gave them a huge smile and a wave as Carol left the car park. 

"You are a fucken dick." Merle told Daryl. "Why didn't you say hello?"

"I know.... I dont know what the fuck I said that to her for either." Daryl told him, he come flying over to the store when he found out Carol was in town and he fucked it up and now she was gone again. He watched the car driving down the road and he didn't know what to do next.

 


	4. Chapter 4

"Then what happened?" Lori asked, she looked up to see if she could still see Jordan and Carl playing in the sand pit. Carl was about six months younger than Jordan and Carol knew Lori from high school. They were friends at high school and they were friends now. Carol relied on Lori a great deal over the past few months while her father was so ill and they even come down to offer support during the last few days. She couldn't have done it without them. She knew that her coming back might cause a stir but she didn't know where things were going to end up with Daryl. In her heart she just didn't think he would shut his son out forever. 

She still remembered running her hands down his back that night, she remembered more than she ever let on. That he was tender and not that experienced. When she run her hands over his impressive shoulders and down his back he pulled them away telling her to leave it. When she asked why he just said, "My old man was a real winner, no kid ever deserved that." In a way that is why she always left the door open for him to come back if he wanted too at a later date. She just thought he was going to.

"Nothing, he just sat there watching from the seat of his bike while I drove away." Carol tried to brush it off.

"And Merle brought him a set of motor bikes." Lori asked. "Michonne's going to want to know all about that. I wonder if those boys ever told her about Jordan, she's going to kill Merle if he hasn't."

"Michonne?"

"Merle's wife, I don't really know her that well. I met her at the wedding and that was it. Rick hasn't had a lot to do with the Dixon's since... well you know he stands by you."

"I know." Carol sighed, it had long been a thing between Rick and Carol when she told him she didn't care if he was still friends with Daryl or not. She wished he didn't take sides but he stood by her and lost a friend over it. She felt guilty even though Lori told her that family was family and Daryl could still be friends with them all if he wasn't so hell bent on keeping everyone at arms length and trying to keep all his past daddy issues to himself. Rick originally suggested that Daryl go talk to someone and get all his unresolved anger sorted out. That was hit with a fierce no and no one dared mention it again.

"Tell me the rest?"

"Yes... he must have been watching us in the store... Merle that is... and called him to tell him we were here. You guys didn't tell him did you?" Carol was unsure, she didn't think Rick would tell but guys being guys maybe be he did.

"I doubt it, Merle must have rung him or at least texted him."

"I don't know, just he needs to stay away." Carol said, "Or its not going to work. I can't have him stalking us." Carol was slightly angry about how close she had come to Daryl coming face to face with Jordan, he was missing his granddad terribly and Rick was trying his best. He didn't need any males in his life that didn't want to be there and stay there forever. She didn't know what she was going to do with Merle though because he seemed very interested in getting to know Jordan today.

"Get a restraining order?" Lori suggested. "Or a zapper every time he comes near you."

"Funny... but you can't get a restraining order unless someone is a threat and he's not. He just doesn't want to be a dad. That's all. Thats not illegal." Carol told her, "He's not like Rick."

"Or Shane," Lori pointed out the window, Carol looked out the window and Shane Walsh the biggest arsehole she had come across while at high school was tossing her son up and down in the air. Rick was doing something similar to Carl. Both men had been trying to fire up the bbq and decided to give the boys some attention. She watched as they chased the little boys around the yard. The giggles were loud from the kids. Carol couldn't help but laugh. Jordan was loving all the attention.

She hadn't been out much socially since having him, sticking close to her dad's place. She joined a few parenting groups but nothing ever really worked out. Now she hoped that once he turned five and was at school she would be able to get a decent job and with her cousin and her wifes support she should be able to have a decent life here. As long as she kept out of Daryl Dixon's way.

"You had some trouble with Dixon?' Shane asked Carol as she sat at the picnic table with her plate of food later that evening when all the food had been cooked, she had Jordan beside her and she flicked her eyes over her son. He wasn't paying any attention at all to what Carol and Shane were talking about.

"Not really, just ran into him unexpectedly that's all."

"Let me know if you need anything, I'm not far away from you ok." Shane told her.

"I think it will be fine, I'm not scared of him or anything, I just want to get on with things."

"Oh no... look what the cat dragged in." Lori looked up and commented as they heard the front gate open and shut, a beautiful black woman walked through followed by a very sheepish looking Merle Dixon. "Looks like Michonne just found out she has a nephew, everyone hold onto their hats.... you boys might need to do a search and rescue on Daryl."

 


	5. Chapter 5

Carol hit it off with her new roommate quickly. She was a fun woman who quickly had Jordan giggling his little head off while she was tickling. It was good because for reduced rent she would look after him at night if Carol picked up a part time job to help with finances. They would share food and outgoing expenses as they cropped up and she come highly recommended by Shane. She was thankful because she didn't even have to look for someone she trusted. Lori and Rick had used her to baby sit before. She was outgoing friendly and sassy all things Carol liked in a new friend and all things that Jordan seemed to adore in Tara.

She was thankful for Tara because she did manage to pick up two nights working behind the bar at a local watering hole. Thankful that she could get just that little bit extra money so she didn't have to worry about finances. She was keeping her head above water but Jordan constantly needed things, from new shoes to clothes. He was going through a growth spurt and Christmas was creeping closer and closer. She wanted him to have the same sort of Christmas that he had been used to with her dad. She was going to Rick and Lori's for Christmas dinner.

Last night had been tense, Michonne was friendly enough but underneath Carol could tell she was fuming, not just at Merle but she looked like she wanted to take Daryl's balls off. She introduced herself to Jordan as Aunty Michonne before Carol could stop her. She introduced herself as Aunty Michonne to Carl also. They didn't stay long, but stayed long enough to invite Carol and Jordan for dinner in a few nights time. Michonne assured her that Daryl would not be there but she would like the opportunity to meet up and chat. Carol agreed but only if it was at her place and it was just them and their kids because she didn't want to be side blinded by Daryl. They left their numbers for Carol to text them a time and an address. Carol liked Michonne but hoped things were not going to get to difficult with everyone.

"Thank you so much," Carol said for about the hundreth time that night to Tara," She was trying to fit into her best jeans that she knew molded to her arse, Tara watched Carol lying on the bed trying to do them up. She hadn't worn them in a while and they were stiff from being washed and dried in the dryer today, tight... really really tight. They would loosen up during the night, hopefully enough so she could breathe.

"Its ok, I have to study anyway, also do you know those jeans are fucken hot?" She told Carol. Carol giggled at her flatmate appreciating her tight jeans as much as hopefully the people filling her tip jar at the bar tonight did. Anything to make a little bit extra and if it meant pulling on tight jeans she would.

Carol laughed, "Its been a long time since I put on make up and dressed up a little."

"For tips...."

"Hopefully, it will be horrible if I don't get any." Carol pulled down her shirt and looked in the mirror. "I don't look trampy?"

"Nope, you look hot, besides everything is covered. Tightly covered." Tara flicked her eyes over her room mate. Carol knew Tara liked what she saw. 

"Get your head in the game Tara, does this work or not?" Carol asked her.

"It does and it doesn't, I think you might have people looking at your booty all night."

"Good, I might not have to flip my hair and giggle like an air head then."

*********

Carol made it home that first night with a load of tips in her back pocket and a smile on her face. Her night had gone well, she hadn't run into any arsehole, only one guy seemed to take a bit of a shine to her and come back to the bar a few times just to try hit on her. Carol had taken it in her stride and it was a little bit flattering to have someone flirting with her and she felt more confident than she had in a long time.

*************************

 

"You guys should come down to the bar tonight, there's a new girl or should I say  _woman_ behind the bar that would give you a hard on just looking at her." Axel told the boys the next morning at smoko. Daryl glanced across at the red haired man.

"How would she make my dick go hard?" Abe asked, "I swear if my dick goes hard looking at someone else my wife knows and I don't get any for a couple of weeks,"

They all laughed.

"She used to be from around here. Just moved back apparently. Rick Grimes cousin or something." Axel said, he made hand shapes like he was describing a woman's body. "She looks fine."

"Carol Grimes?" Daryl asked before he could stop himself, "Working at the bar?"

"She so fucken hot she's unbelievable, got titty's and a arse that won't stop," Axel started to say, Daryl was out of his seat to plant him and Abe and Merle pulled both men back from each other and Axel didn't even know what was going on.

"There's a bit of history between you two then?" Axel asked.

"Yeah she's the chick you knocked up and she's got your kid right Daryl?" Abe asked, he'd heard the rumors and no one ever had the balls to ask Daryl about it.

"Something like that." Merle answered, "Everyone back to work."

"You tapped that fine arse once already Daryl and let it go... the way I seen guys eyeing her up last night that boys going to have guys wanting to play baby daddy lining up around the block." Axel commented, "I'm going in to see if I can give her some fine loving tonight!"

"Daryl no!" Merle went to grab his brother but it was too late, he was rolling the floor with Axel. Merle managed to pull him up by the back of his shirt and throw him into his office. "Get in there.... Axel keep that mouth closed."

"Well she does have a fine arse." Axel felt a little bit braver with Daryl on the other side of the door frame with Merle between them. "Does she put out?" Axel felt Merles fist connect with his face as he went sprawling along the ground. "Get back to fucken work."

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again you all over whelm me with your thoughts on this fic. Its been a long ride coming back to writing again, life throws you shitty curve balls and finding the right head space to write. You all are so amazing. Its not just sugar frosting but constant support and the group of women I talk to everyday getting me through my speed bump, listening to me whine and and help push me through it all. 
> 
> I'm trying to catch up with all my comments. You know I like to interact with you all that comment so bare with me. I'm getting there. I am. School holidays have hit in New Zealand and I have a few more fic's in the pipe line. You can send me messages via tumblr or twitter. oursubzero on both.

'Someone's got their eye you you." The younger waitress come behind the bar to get her drinks to go back out and deliver them. Carol glanced up from the beer she was pouring, she had been going flat stick since she arrived. The bar was pumping and there was a bigger crowd than usual she was told by the other guy working behind the bar. Glenn had been working Fridays there for a long time while putting himself through college.

"Its Daryl Dixon... do you know him?" Glenn looked up and over in that general direction. Sure enough she met those blue eyes looking at her. Carol sighed because she knew that he would show up when he heard she was working there. She knew his eyes were on her because she knew the moment he walked into the bar and that he'd been watching her for a few minutes before anyone else noticed he was watching her.

"I do know him," Carol admitted.

"Well he's coming this way and his face is looking like thunder." Glenn moved away leaving her standing there waiting for him to come across to the bar. She took a deep breath and turned to look at him, she plastered a friendly smile on her face. She turned to smile at him, her eyes staring at the top button on his checked shirt. She didn't want to meet his eyes. He had eyes like his son and she looked into eyes like that every day and she just wanted him to chill out and not cause a scene in the bar and let her do her job.

"Hi Daryl, what can I get you?" She tried to sound happy and up beat. His face didn't reflect hers in face he was trying to work out why she sounded so happy and great, was it because there were men hitting on her in the bar.

"A beer."

"What sort? Larger, Dark?"

Daryl just waved his hand towards one of the taps, Carol tipped her glass and tilted her glass and poured his drink. He put money on the bar, she gave him back his change with the beer. He opened his wallet and pulled out some more money, Carol watched him count out a few hundred and stick it in the tip jar with her name on it. "Get yourself a real job." 

"Excuse me?"

"Shouldn't you be at home with your son?" Daryl asked her, she looked shocked at his suggestion. He knew he went too far by the look on her face. He was lucky she didn't tip his beer on his head. She reached out to grab it back and Daryl picked it up quickly and held onto it.

"If there isn't anything else I can get you I need to move on, thanks for the tip, I'm not sure that pulling you one beer warrants such a large tip but I thank you. Have a great night." Carol turned her back so she didn't have to talk to him.

"Why are you working here?" Daryl leaned forward and asked, his voice was low and she turned around to look at him, she really looked at him. He was her son's father alright, the same flashing blue eyes, and right now he wore a confused look on his face like Jordan did while trying to do something he couldn't understand or figure out. He knew he fucked up saying what he did and she was beyond mad at him right now she could barely keep her voice level.

"Because I need to make my mortgage, put food on the table," Carol told him. "I want to go back to college when Jordan's at school so I need to make money for us to do that next year. Now go... let me do my job."

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Carol helped Glenn lock up the bar at one in the morning. She knew he was on the other side of the parking lot watching her. She knew it wasn't like a stalker, she could tell he was doing some thinking and he sat on the one beer for hours in the corner of the bar where she was working, he took three chances to try talk to her, she talked to him. He asked what courses she was going to do. How Jordan was and asked if she wanted him to see her home. She declined the offer of the escort but in the back of her mind knew that he was still thinking about her safety. It was a weird situation, they were not friends, they were not enemies, the only thing they had in common was they slept together once and Jordan. He didn't even know Jordan and didn't seem that interested in knowing him either.

"Good night Glenn, thanks for seeing me to my car." Carol checked her back seat like she always did, started her car, locked her doors, pulled out her cell phone to text Rick and Tara she was leaving. Something she agreed to do when she started her new job. She had quick replies and she didn't even check them knowing it was them. She didn't see Glenn go over to chat to Daryl after she left though.

The door was unlocked and Tara was plodding her way back to bed in a tank top and boxer shorts when Carol come through the door. 

"Thank you.... you didn't have to get up for me." Carol told her.

"Well I thought it would make it easier than trying to find keys, your home and you are safe.... Shane rang like seven times to check if you were home so can you please now include him in your group text to say you are on your way home." Tara complained. Carol looked surprised that Shane had been calling her to see if she was home.

"Shane rang?"

"Shane  _rang_ I think he has a tiny crush on you or something, I don't know its too confusing all this." Tara told her, Shane had confessed to his cousin that he had a bit of a crush on Carol and not to tell her. He wanted to ask her out and for Tara to get his foot in the door for him.  Tara told him to do his own dirty work because she didn't want to get involved in his cousins love life or her roommates.  "So how much did you make tonight."

"Nearly four hundred." Carol smiled, she was tired and she was still annoyed with Daryl.

"In tips? Or did you blow someone out the back?" Tara looked amused in her half asleep state.

"No I didn't blow someone... Daryl filled my tip jar up..." Carol shrugged. "Don't say anything I don't know what the hell that means. I'm going to have a drink, then kiss my little boy and go to bed."

There was a knock at the door both women looked at it.

"Who is it?" Tara called out putting her hand on Carol's arm. It was one thirty in the morning.

"Its Daryl."

"What do you want?"

"Can we talk?"

_"Now?"_

"Please... five minutes."

"I'm going to bed, but call out if you need me ok." Tara kissed her cheek and left Carol staring at the door in the hall. She walked down to open the door to find out what the big problem was that needed to be talked about at this time of the night or the morning. She opened the door, he looked tired and looked like he needed to have a sleep. She wanted him just to go home. She wanted to just go to bed.  

"What do you want?" Carol opened the door to let him step in.

"Look, I'm sorry alright... I fucked up, when I first found out about him... I still don't know if I want to see him or what but... here." Daryl opened his wallet and pulled out a wad of cash, he handed it to her and she actually took it. She had her pride but she wasn't stupid either. If taking money from Daryl meant the difference between them having heat and food she was not to proud to take it. "I'll pay for him, me and Merle have our own business now, its doing really well.  I should have offered you some money when you first said you were keeping him."

"Thank you." Carol held onto the money tight. "That will help, he needs some new clothes and stuff."

"I've got an account at the super market, and we got an account at the road side dinner, if you ever want to eat out or you can put your food on my account, I'll pay for it." He offered, "He's got to eat right,"

"Yes he does, but is this about me working at the bar?" She asked him. "I have to keep working."

"Kinda, not really.... I don't know," Daryl said. "I'm not gonna ask ya not to work there but I known some women who worked there who turned some tricks to make some cash and I'd hate for you to be stuck for money that you needed ...."

"Do you think I'm going to prostitute myself?" Carol asked him, shocked at what he was saying.

"No, I just don't want you to be desperate that you don't know what else to do." Daryl told her. "Give me your bank details and I'll set up a payment weekly... what is it? Maintenance?"

"Yeah.... and what do you want out of all this?" Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him.

"Nothing... I still don't think I'm daddy material but... I don't know." He run his hand through his hair. "I better go, text me with your details and I'll sort you out money, and used the store credit ok."

"Thanks Daryl... Goodnight."

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Daryl walked down the steps looking at the person walking up the steps, he glanced at his watch and frowned. What the fuck was Shane Walsh doing here at this time of night. For no reason that he could see. There is no way he was just casually dropping by to see his cousin. He was annoyed, he quickly worked out that he was there to see Carol... Did Carol invite him over? He didn't know he wanted to know what the story was and he was going to find out.

"What are you doing here Walsh?" Daryl's voice was low and deadly. He stood blocking Shanes way past him standing on the steps. There was no way Shane was going to get up those steps. He would have to make it past Daryl first and Daryl wasn't stepping aside to let him in.

"What are you doing here Dixon" Shane's voice come out in the same tone. "You been invited?"

"Have you?"

"Go the fuck home Dixon. No one wants you here... she doesn't need you."

"Well now this is interesting... looks like we have a stand off on our front porch at some ungodly hour of the morning." Tara come up close behind Carol who was watching what was going on on her front door step. Daryl wasn't budging at all to let Shane past and Shane looked like he was ready to rumble with Daryl all the way down the front steps. Carol was surprised there were two guys even interested in her enough to get into a fist fight over her.

She could see what was going on with Daryl. He was confused with all his feeling because he did have feeling for her and for his son who he hadn't met yet. She could see it a mile away if they could just make it through his tight armor and Shane, well Shane was a woman's man and no one really ever turned him down she supposed. He thought that he would be able to woo her somehow. What he didn't realize that Carol was prepared to wait Daryl out. Unless Daryl did something to hurt her and Jordan she was leaving the door wide open for him. Whether it be a family friend or a dad she didn't know. She did know that the choice he made five years ago didn't sit well with him anymore now that her father was gone. 

He was fine with Carol's dad helping raise Jordan, he was fine with Rick raising Jordan, he wouldn't be fine with another man taking on his son as a father figure. She knew it, he had his pride and the fact that other men were starting to show interest in her and possibly being involved with her and Jordan in a family type of way she couldn't help but wonder if Daryl was going to wake up tomorrow and regret the past five years or not. She had time, she wasn't going to just give up on him the way he had given up on himself. She wouldn't. She owed it to Jordan to try, even if it meant he was only going to be there for Jordan she could live with that. 

"What are you going to do... they are hissing at each other like tom cats." Tara whispered like the men could hear them anyway their voices were getting louder and louder.

Carol opened the door and looked out. "You both can go home, goodnight gentlemen, I don't want to have to set my hose on you."

Both men moved quickly down the steps to their cars. Daryl climbed in his and sat waiting for Shane to leave first. If anything he was a stubborn man and that might actually work in Carol's favour but he wasn't leaving until Shane left and Shane wasn't leaving until Daryl left. It was a real big old fashion stand off. Carol wasn't sure what she should do.

They both sat there waiting like they were in some badass competition. Daryl was getting more and more pissed off. Mainly because he wanted to tell Carol he made a huge mistake all those years ago and he just went in there offering her money when he really wanted to say he was fucken sorry. So sorry. So fucken sorry he wanted to just tell her. So he sat and tried to wait Shane out.

Tara started giggling and she couldn't stop. Carol looked at her in shock of her reaction and the more Tara laughed the more Carol couldn't stop giggling also. Both women were giggling like mad. Tara snorted and it made Carol giggle more.

"You want me to go out there and move them on?" Tara suggested.

"What are they doing now?" Carol tried to see out the window.

"I think Shane's got the hots for you and Daryl's still unsure of what he wants and is trying to keep Shane away until he decides." Tara suggested.

"Get me the phone." Carol asked Tara. She passed the phone and she rung Rick who she knew was on duty, he was going to do a drive by and move them both on for the evening. She told Rick she had two angry men sitting in their car's out side her house and she needed them gone by morning. Rick sighed and told her he would swing by.

Carol pulled on her jacket and slipped out the front door and looked at both cars sitting there. She walked to Shanes car and opened the drivers door looking at Shane, he looked happy she come to his door and was looking at him. "Go home now." She bent in and kissed his cheek. She stood up and Shane started his car up to leave. He had driven off as she stopped by Daryl's drivers side car door. She tried to open it but it was locked.

"Open the door."

"No."

"Now!" She used her mommy voice and he hit the unlock button he had seen her kiss Shane's cheek from where he was sitting and he was clearly sulking.  "Please go home. I'm going to be at the park tomorrow with Jordan at two,"

"I don't want to see him." He said, he regretted the words as soon as they come out his mouth.

"I think you do.... see you then," she bent down and kissed him on the mouth quickly, she moved to pull away but his fingers caught in her hair and he pulled her head back gently to kiss her properly. She broke the kiss, pulled back and said. "Go... home, I'll see you tomorrow."

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

She knew he arrived, she could feel it, she didn't even need to turn around.

Even if she hadn't heard the motor bike pull up on the other side of the park. Her heart beat faster and she had to wipe her hands on her pants because she was getting sweaty palms. She thought all night about that kiss. The three seconds that their lips met she knew that he wouldn't be able to keep away even if he didn't want to be around them. It was like a magnetic pull. She took a huge risk kissing him on the lips like that but it did work. It broke down his walls for those few seconds for her to just catch a glimpse of his real emotions. 

He had regrets, and now he didn't know how to turn it around. His go to emotion was to block everyone out, pretending that they didn't exist at all. He kept people at arms length and he had been used to not having to think about Jordan at all but now they moved back in town they were nudging the edge of his friendship circle and if his sister inlaw managed to get a hold of him like Carol thought she had he would be doing a great deal of soul searching over the past few days. Now he was here watching them, waiting and watching. 

 Daryl was lurking in the trees off to one side. He stepped out into the open and stayed on the other side on the green playing field watching Carol and watching Jordan. She couldn't see his expression because he was too far away but all and all he showed up. She couldn't stop the smile that crept up over her face about the fact that Jordan was finally going to have some sort of interaction with his father. In her heart she thought that one day Jordan would meet Daryl but she always thought it would be Jordan seeking Daryl out when he was eighteen not Daryl seeking Jordan out and wanting to get to know him.

She pushed Jordan on the swing and tried to pretend he wasn't watching them. She was surprised that no one approached him to see what he was doing just standing at the side of the park. Back and forward, back and forward so she didn't have to think about it. What was she going to say. Did they have to approach Daryl. It was a situation where they had to approach him without spooking him off.

Carol managed to get Jordan off the swing and was debating about how to go about introducing Daryl to Jordan. She wondered now because Daryl still hadn't moved was Daryl just going to stand back and watch for the afternoon. She moved Jordan over to the edge of the grassed area so they were not that far away from each other.

It was only when they moved closer that Carol noticed that Daryl had a bag hanging from his fingers like he had been to the store to buy something. Carol was surprised when he dug into the bag and produced a ball. He held it up to show her, Carol smiled and nodded that it was a good idea. It was just a plain soccer ball. He dropped it on the ground and kicked it really hard towards them so it would make it all the way across the playing field. Jordan run towards it before Carol could do anything or say anything and he picked it up. He looked at it and put it back on the ground and kicked it back towards Daryl.

"Can I play?" Jordan asked her, he had been skilled not to go off playing with strange people, stranger danger and all the rest.

"Its ok, you can play with him. He's a friend of mine." Carol told him. "I told him to come to the park to play soccer with you... you go and I'll watch you from here... ok?"

Jordan listened to her then he run off after the ball kicking it again towards Daryl. Carol sat down on the bench seat provided watching them kick the ball back and forward. Jordan wasn't talking to Daryl at all instead they both managed to start a game between them without even talking to each other. That amused Carol that they both seemed to just understand what was happening in the game.

Carol was sneaky and pulled out her phone and snapped a few photos of her son's first interaction with his dad. Jordan's giggles come from the other side of the field as Daryl tried to dive towards a ball and missed doing a big fake out. He rolled around on the ground, he didn't expect it neither did Carol when Jordan took a big run with a body slam and landed on top of him, Daryl took it in a body roll taking Jordan with him rolling over a couple of times before getting to his feet. Carol watched on wondering how much experience he had with young children. Merle had a son she knew she could tell he knew how to hold Jordan's interest.

Carol couldn't help but smile when both of them come1 over towards her out of breath. Jordan come flying at her climbing up onto her knee to asking her if she saw him kicking the ball. Carol told him she did see him. She gave Daryl a smile, Daryl was still standing back from them.

"We are going to go for ice cream, would you like to come?" Carol asked him, Jordan turned to look at Daryl and to see what he was going to do with that suggestion.

"Yes come....Mr...." Jordan stumbled wondering who Daryl was.

"Dad... I'm your dad..." Daryl crouched down on his haunches, he reached out and shook Jordan's hand who was watching him from Carol's knee. Jordan was extremely interested in what he was saying. "I'm really sorry Jordan... I made a big mistake not being around... for you and ... for your mama. Do you think you could forgive me?" he asked Jordan, he glanced at Carol and looked in her eyes, "Forgive me?" She gave him a quick nod and tired to keep it together.

"Is he?" Jordan turned towards Carol, she nodded. Carol was shocked that he come right out with who he was and he was manning up. He apologized to Jordan.

"Yes, he is... he..." Carol tried to explain.

"I made a mistake... do you think you might like to hang out with me?" Daryl asked Jordan. "I'd like to get to know you, play some more soccer with you."

"With mommy?" Jordan asked.

"Definitely, I'm really sorry to mommy to.... I'm so sorry Carol... I wish I could take it all back." Daryl looked her in the eye and Carol had tears welling in her eyes threatening to fall over onto her face. She tried to wipe them so that Jordan wouldn't see them and start getting worried. 

"You made mommy cry." Jordan looked like he was going to hit Daryl because his mommy was crying. Carol put her hand on his arm and stroked her hand down his arm a few times to sooth Jordan.

"Happy tears... not sad tears. Your daddy taken a long time to realize how much he's going to love you...." Carol told him quietly, not quite loud enough for Daryl to hear but loud enough for Jordan to listen and nod when she told him. "I love you and its all going to work out ok."

"I'm so sorry...." Daryl run his hand through his hair, he let his wall down and his emotions were flooding about.

"I'm ok... can I keep the ball at my house?" Jordan asked him.

"Sure... " Daryl gave him a smile.

They left the park and walked to the nearby ice cream shop. Jordan went into the children's area and was drawing with paper and pens provided. Daryl was watching and both Carol and Daryl were left alone.

"We need to take it slow... you can't just be instant father... it might be too much." Carol told him.

"Ok... so what... I will do anything you want me to do."

"Tuesdays and Thursday nights for dinner at my house, and you can take him for a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon when he feels comfortable going with you. Until then you can come to our place on a Saturday afternoon and hang out with him." Carol told him. "Baby steps."

"And you?" Daryl asked her, she knew what he was asking if he could see her too.

"Baby steps..."

"I'll take it." He nodded that he would take baby steps. She smiled at him and reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

"Is he going to live at my house?" Jordan asked his mom.

"No he has a house... he lives in his own house." Carol told Jordan. 

They were at home getting ready for Merle and Michonne's visit for dinner. At the last moment Carol relented and invited Daryl also. Daryl had been chuffed that he had been invited also and asked if he could bring anything.

Carol sighed and just said. "Dinner... I was going to cook and now we don't have anything organised."

"Why don't we change venue? You could come to my place." Daryl offered. "Its bomb proof because Merle's kids, we could just cook bbq?"

"We?" Carol had asked him with a question in her eyes. His full face blush had not escaped her notice. It surprised her that he was willing to offer some sort of fix for the situation. Then again Carol didn't need him to fix the situation. At the same time Carol didn't want to turn him down on his offer but she was conflicted. 

"Sorry I shouldn't have tried to take over." Carol and Daryl were having the conversation by her car, she'd already buckled Jordan in and turned her air conditioning on so he wouldn't get to hot. She had wanted to the the time to thank Daryl for putting so much effort into Jordan today. 

"Its just that... he will probably get tired and we will have to go early, if its at my place he can go to bed." Carol tried to explain.

"Maybe you can put him down in my bed? Will he go to sleep anywhere? You can stay over too?" Daryl had blurted out the questions to her, his face flaming and he run his hand through his hair. "I can sleep on the couch... I didn't mean that. I'm sorry... Carol you gotta believe I'm so sorry about every thing."

"I know... I'll bring a overnight bag. you let everyone know we moved to your place ok." Carol told him, she reached out and put her hand on his chest and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He was trying she would give him that. "Thank you for trying so hard... but you don't have to try so hard. Just be you ok... Jordan would like you just as you are."

"Ok." He all of a sudden looked shy and vulnerable in front of her, she knew he was going though all sorts of emotions and she had been through each and every one over the past few years. Daryl was going though them all in the same day. "So you will come then?"

"Ok... but if it gets weird or awkward we will go ok... if its too much for you having us come to your place for dinner?" Carol told him.

"Hows it going to be weird... I see my brother every day at work." Daryl almost cracked a smile, that wasn't what Carol meant he was sure. "You better go... I'll text you my address?"

"I've got it..." Carol told him, "I've always known it."

Daryl nodded remembering that she probably did know more about him than he realized. He wasn't surprised she know where his place was. It wasn't that big. Two bedrooms, his and a spare for when Michonne threw Merle out of home which happened from time to time Merle would show up with a overnight bag and a sulky look. He wondered if he made the spare bedroom more inviting that Carol wouldn't mind Jordan sleeping over. He knew he pushed the boundary's over the invite. He was going to stop at the store not only for steaks but also some things for Jordan.

Now Carol was standing in Jordan's bedroom wondering if there was anything in there that he could do without that they could leave at Daryl's house. He didn't really have a lot of toys. In the end Carol decided to just pack a bag of things for him to play with and a few dvd's hoping that Daryl had one, if he had one in his bedroom that would be a bonus at bed time. She packed him and her a overnight bag and then put the stuff in the back of her car to go over for the bbq.

She come back inside to collect Jordan and Tara was standing there with a shit eating grin on her face. "Got you a present." She held out a brown paper bag towards Carol. Carol wasn't stupid and she knew what it was and Carol shook her head and wouldn't take it.

"You need too... we don't want anymore mini Daryl's running about do we." Tara grinned, Carol swatted her arm.

"Stop!"

"Well... at least you know these are new. I just picked them up on my way home. My first time buying them so you should at least use them.... I mean if you want to." Tara opened the bag and dug in to open the box. She took two out stepped towards Carol grabbing her pocket and shoving them in. "Just in case. He's pretty sexy so..."

"Tara... I'm not going to sleep with him... Stop it." Carol said, she was trying to keep her voice down before Jordan thought they were doing something exciting without them. "I'll take them... just in case."

"Oh Stapphhhhhh!" Tara mocked her.

"Stop!"

"You stop!" Tara started giggling.

"Stop it!" Carol hissed. "Right I have to go and have dinner with his family." 

"Have fun with that. Rather you than me. So what do you want me to tell Shane?" Tara asked her.

"Tell him you saw me heading out with a huge box of condoms." Carol tried not to laugh about it.

"Oh stop!" Tara laughed. "Have fun. Don't have sex... and try enjoy yourself."

"I will." Carol said. She gathered up her little boy to go on his first family event with his dad.


	10. Chapter 10

Carol pulled up outside the address she had for Daryl. He lived in a small two bedroom house at the very end of a very tidy street. He had lived here since he moved back. In fact this was the tiny little house Carol did the walk of shame from that night she first went home with him. Merle used to rent it and now Daryl did. She was surprised to see it looked like it had had fresh paint and the lawns were cut and the flowerbeds were neat and tidy. Not at all what it looked like when she was here the first time. She wondered if it was all Daryl's work. She assumed he lived alone but maybe he had a room mate or something now. She didn't really know.

She pulled slowly into the driveway right up to the back of Daryl's car and parked. She took a deep breath and unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door. She took her time getting out of the car but Jordan had already bounded out the car door and up the back steps. He was beyond excited about Daryl and the fact he now had a dad. He also had talked non stop all the way here about what he thought dad's actually did and now he had one like some of his old friends from pre school.

Daryl opened the door the moment he spotted them pulling into the driveway. Jordan run right into him and started blurting out the questions. He'd been thinking them up all afternoon from the time Carol had taken him home from the park. Carol had managed to get through to him that sometimes mommy's and daddies lived in separate houses and the children sometimes had two bedrooms or just had special days to see their dad. Jordan had not liked that idea at all. He seemed to think he should be able to pack Daryl up and keep him in his bedroom now.

Daryl picked him up and hugged him, he gave Carol a wave. Daryl put Jordan down and come down off the back porch to get the bag and the other stuff that Carol had brought for them. He didn't say a word with the amount of stuff she did bring he just brought it into his kitchen. Carol followed him into the house. He shouldered one bag and dropped the toy box on the kitchen table as they passed it and he indicated that they should go through and put the rest of the bags in the bedroom.

"Nice place," She said looking about, she didn't know if he was all ways this tidy or if he made a special effort for them. It was clean. Cleaner than her house even. She wasn't sure if he had spent the whole rest of the afternoon cleaning or if it was always like this. She thought back to outside that would have taken longer than a few hours to clean it all up.

"This way," Daryl told her and he headed towards the hallway, Jordan was at his heels following him. "My spare room.... I fixed it up for him, hope you don't mind." 

Carol looked around and it was clear that he had run out and brought some things for Jordan to feel at home in Daryl's house. There was a "Paw Patrol" duvet cover and a container of lego. Carol could see some toy's on the shelves and it looked like there was a dinosaur light shade. Daryl stood back and let Jordan look around. There was a huge play mat on the floor. Jordan's eyes when to the huge teddy bear on the bed. It was almost as big as Jordan.

"I hope you don't mind... I just thought..." Daryl started to say. "I got a mat for the lounge too, you don't have to stay in the bedroom playing. My house you can play where ever you want to ok." Jordan was already on the floor playing. Daryl glanced at Carol. "You don't mind... I just thought it would be nice for him to have some stuff here if you come over or something."

"That's ok... it really is thoughtful," Carol said slowly as it dawned on her that he might have some sort of custody idea in mind, she didn't know how she would feel about that because she wanted to keep it casual without lawyers and just spend time getting to know Daryl. When Jordan felt like it or asked he could have sleep overs but until then Carol didn't want to be forced into anything, "did you have some sort of custody thing you wanted to ask me... because I'm not sure he's ready to come visit and stay over here." Carol walked out of the bedroom. Daryl took the bag she was carrying off her and took it into the other room. 

"No I just thought you would come too."

"Oh... thank you that helps... makes it easier for him to come over if I don't have to bring stuff from my house to yours." Carol told him, she watched Daryl toss her bag on the bed and she watched in horror as the brown paper bag come tumbling out of her tote bag Daryl watched it falling to the ground and Carol was thankful the contents didn't come falling out. Tara she had to kill Tara.

"Woops sorry, hope that wasn't breakable," Daryl picked up the bag to put it back and the bag ripped in his hands. Both Carol and Daryl were left staring at the box of condoms. He was clearly embarrassed standing there with a box of condoms in his hands. His face showed a whole range of emotions as it settled on the wrong idea of why she had them in her bag. "Oh... were you not planning on staying here the night?"

"Ugh... Tara... Its Tara's idea of a funny joke to keep putting them in my bag." Carol said. "I'm staying and she thought... I don't know what she thought... she's drunk most of the time!" Carol blurted, Daryl gave an embarrassed laugh like Carol because they both knew Tara and Tara didn't drink much.

She was so embarrassed, but not as much as Daryl standing there holding a box of condoms when Jordan come into the room to find them. He moved quickly and hid them behind his back.

"Hi buddy, everything ok?" Daryl asked him.

"There's someone knocking at the door." Jordan ran out of the bedroom to go open the front door for them.

Daryl looked about and shoved the box of condoms under his pillow. "We will talk about this later."

"There's nothing to talk about... " Carol called after him as he left the room to follow Jordan to open the front door to his brother and his family. Carol reluctantly followed him not wanting to go ahead with the chat about why she was carrying condoms but she had to move forward because she could hear everyone talking in the kitchen. There was laughter and she could hear children running down the hall towards the other bedroom as Jordan led the charge of little feet towards his new bedroom. Carol smiled because Daryl was trying so hard. 

She walked down the hall right into Michonne who was following the children down the hall to see what they were up too. She smiled when she saw Carol and greeted her with a hug.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys I've been so slack with writing I guess its because my kids are home all day long and I barely get any down time at all. As I write this I'm rocking one in a hammock and trying to get the other into bed. Fun times for anyone who has out of the norm kids like mine. So I have a few thoughts don't get too excited about the condoms....

Carol sat across from Michonne at the large picnic table that was out on the back yard of Daryl's place. It looked well used and Carol took a sip of wine that Michonne had poured her while they both watched Daryl and Merle kicking a soccer ball around with the boys on the back yard. Dinner had been nice, really nice and Carol quickly knew that she would become fast friends with Michonne even if she wasn't with Daryl. 

Michonne had already organized a play date for her son and Carol's for tomorrow at the park. She said that the boys were cousins and they deserved to know each other. Carol agreed because she wanted to be friends and she needed friends, she missed out on play dates and stuff like that because she was looking after her dad.

"So... how are you? I heard your dad just died, that must be tough." Michonne finally said.

They had been sitting alone for some time and both women didn't know what to say to each other. Dinner hadn't been awkward but it was just weird. Michonne and Merle treated her like she had always been there and Daryl had been so quiet just watching and observing both her and Jordan quietly all night.

"It's tough, its been really tough these last few years.  I've been looking after dad and trying to explain to Jordan what's happening..." Carol took a sip of her wine trying to keep her emotions in check, her eyes welled up and she sniffed. She tried to keep talking but she couldn't, Michonne reached out to touch her arm the gesture in itself was Carol's undoing. For months she'd been keeping it all in for Jordan, not even letting her guard down around Rick who come to support her when her dad did pass away. One kind word and touch Carol had tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry..." She managed to get out as she bolted into the house.

Michonne stood up to follow her, Daryl was standing in the yard watching, "What happened?" He asked.

"I asked about her dad." Michonne said quietly, she slipped into the house and followed the sniffs. She found Carol sitting on the side of Daryls bed sniffing trying to steam the tears. 

"My throat hurts... it hurts so bad..." Carol managed to spit out.

"Its ok, cry... Its good to cry," Michonne realized she opened the dam of Carol's tears and she didn't quite know what to do, she was giving her a hug as she sat down on the bed right near Daryl's pillows, her arms were around Carol while she tried to stop crying.

"I tried to keep it in and pretend everything was ok... and I had Jordan to look after and people called me the town bike.... because my old home town was so backwards... " Carol sniffed, "And you asked me on a play date..." She cried through her nose with a whinny voice as her tears and her thanks come out. Michonne looked around hoping there might be something to use as a tissue. She pulled open Daryl's top drawer and quickly slammed it again.

"Ew... don't go in there." Michonne warned Carol. She opened the next draw and pulled out a tee shirt and handed it to Carol to blow her nose on. Michonne laughed about it, Carol looked at it, it looked new but she blew her nose on it anyway. She wiped her face again and sniffed.

"What's in the drawer?" Carol sniffed.

"Playboy... and lube..." Michonne giggled. "He's a Dixon... I can't explain these things."

Carol reached across and opened the drawer, sure enough there was about five playboys in there and a Hustler. She pulled them out to look at them. She handed one to Michonne and she took the other four. She never ever seen one before. She had seen them but only on the shelves at the supermarket or in a garage. Carol flipped it over and looked at the date on it. It was about a year old.

"Must be a favourite." She mused, she was still sniffing.

"Mines um... how does one do that?" Michonne pointed to a picture.

"I'm sure he reads the articles... I mean they run a bike shop right? And they are on bikes..." Carol sniffed, she blew her nose again on Daryl's shirt and dropped it on the ground. Daryl would die she was sure if he found them snooping through his stuff. Michonne leaned back slightly and tilted the bed. She put her hand out to steady herself and put it right on the box of condoms under his pillow.

Carol stared at them and tried to compose herself, doing so she looked shocked instead of blanked. 

"He's got condoms under his pillow... he must have tickets on himself." Michonne stated. "Does he think he's going to come back into your life and try have sex with you after one dinner... I'm going to talk with him right now!"

"Um... I'm sure it wasn't like that at all." Carol tried to say.

"Like what?"

"Um... Tara put them in my bag and I tried to hide them from Daryl... then he found them and tried to hide them from Merle." Carol admitted. She wasn't crying anymore she was giggling about the whole thing.

"Tara the lesbian brought condoms? She never would buy condoms?" Michonne didn't look convinced.

"She did.... put them all back before he comes and sees." Carol tried to shut everything up because she heard the bedroom door opening, Daryl and Merle stood there with shocked faces as both Carol and Michonne were holding dirty magazines and Michonne had condoms in her hand. Daryl's face flamed red and he started backing out the bedroom door. He couldn't because he slammed his back into Merles chest. Merle was talking.

"So they are eating ice cream watching a movie.... move Daryl.... Get out of the way.... what?" Merle was trying to get past Daryl.

"Its not what it looks like!" Daryl blurted out, he took off down the hall cursing everyone in his way, grabbing his smokes and going out to sit on the back deck while everyone laughed and mucked around in his stuff. He should have moved all that stuff. What was Carol doing going through all his stuff. He felt a hand on his shoulder, he glanced up and saw it was a red rimmed eye Carol.

"Michonne was looking for something for me to dry my eyes on but I shouldn't have kept looking, I'm sorry." She said quietly, "I invaded your privacy."

"Don't care that you looked, Merles never going to stop talking about it now." Daryl mumbled. "I'm sorry you saw that shit... I shouldn't have it, I'll get rid of it."

"I don't care if you want to look at... naked ... um pictures... I mean... I don't know... what should I say... I know guys do it so." Carol stumbled through words she didn't know what she was even talking about. "I don't know... I mean I have a vibrator... most women do." She put her hand over her mouth. "Sorry I'm an emotional wreak, one minute I'm bawling my eyes out and the next I just blurt stuff out. Don't even listen to me."

"No no no... go back to what you just said." Daryl looked at her with a tiny embarrassed smile on his face. He couldn't believe they were sitting outside talking about masturbation.

"Well everyone does it and if they say they don't they are lying... lying. I think Merle and Michonne are going, I am so tired, Jordan's probably asleep in his ice cream." Carol said, she leaned over and nudged his shoulder. "You should stop that habit,"

"I will." He flicked it into the ash tray and stubbed it out. He nudged her back and leaned over and kissed her cheek, "That ok?"

"That's ok... lets put him to bed and sit and chat ok."

They said goodnight to Merle and Michonne, Carol hugging Michonne extra hard as they left. It hadn't been reveled that Michonne was the one who forced Daryl's hand to meet and help with Jordan but Carol knew it was her that gave him that extra push in the right direction. She promised to meet her at the park tomorrow. Jordan was all but asleep on the couch, Carol managed to sleep walk him to the toilet and pop him into bed. Daryl was tidying up the kitchen when she come out and he was asleep. He had two glasses of wine poured.

"Couch or watch a movie in bed?"

"Movie in bed sounds good. I think I will take a shower first though," Carol told him, she grabbed her stuff to take a shower, washing away her tears from the evening. When she come out Daryl had the movie ready to play and he ducked into the bathroom taking a quick shower himself. He come out in sweat pants and a tee shirt. Both of them climbed into bed and waited for the movie to come on. No one spoke about the playboys or the hustlers on the side table by his bed or the fact that the condoms had been artfully arranged by either Merle or Michonne. Carol suspected it was the oldest Dixon, because of the way they were placed on top of the dirty magazine. Both of them didn't make it through the movie but fell asleep side by side within the first twenty minutes. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I am thinking sometimes.

Carol took longer than Daryl to fall asleep. He had sensed her not being able to fall asleep and offered her to snuggle up beside him by lifting his arm so that she could duck under his arm and he could bring it down around her pulling her close to hold. He fell asleep within minutes of doing so when it was clear that that's all that would be happening in the bed that night. He didn't ask he'd assumed but when she patted his chest and told him good night that was him being told that's all you are getting tonight buddy. He didn't really mind there was plenty of time to work on their relationship, he wanted to do what was right for her and what was right for Jordan.

Carol over thought everything as she feel asleep and she was trying to get everything straight in her mind. They were really doing this. Going to try dating and being a family for Jordan. Well a muddled up family just not the married with two point four children, a dog and a white picket fence. She had a tiny smile because the fence at her house was white picket and she promised Jordan a dog one day. She run her hand across Daryl's chest and tucked her hand around his side to keep them there as she drifted off into Daryl filled dreams. 

Her dreams were bouncing all over the show. He was in them all and she could see him in the distance, she was running towards him and he kept laughing at her and running away. At one stage she dreamt that he was throwing squirrels at her and Jordan laughing as they hit Jordan and making him fall. Carol picked up one of her white picket fence railings and threw it javelin style at Daryl and it pierced his heart. She screamed as he burst open and rainbow hearts fell out. She raced around begging everyone to stop standing on the hearts as they were suddenly in an extremely crowded mall. Merle and Michonne were there eating squirrels saying to each other, "told you it wouldn't work!", "No I told you" over and over again.

Carol was frantic because she couldn't stop people standing on the hearts and Jordan started eating them as they turned into candy heats. He offered them to his mother and they were suddenly at a picnic eating Daryl's candy hearts. Daryl reached into the bowl and took a heart and said "I think I can make it multiply watch." He said magic words and banged the candy then looked at it and threw it up in the air. The next thing she knew she and Daryl were making out. Full on making out and she couldn't get enough as she put her hands down his pants in a move she had never done before.

 Carol had had many erotic dreams in her life but the one she was having about Daryl was incredible, she could almost feel him underneath her hands. She was stroking him into a frenzy. She run her hands up and down his dick and he was loving it. He moaned and pulled her closer to him telling her how good it felt. Carol couldn't stop touching and kissing him it was like the dam had broken. She was letting down her defenses and giving him all that she had. In her dream she rolled him onto his back climbed on top of him, lifted her shirt off the top of her head, she could feel him hard underneath her and she rolled her hips over his waist and moaned loud. 

"Um Carol?" She heard him say. She felt a hand squeezing her him and a hand on her shoulder shaking her awake.

She snapped her eyes open and stared down at him. She quickly crossed her arms across her chest and was trying to get off him when he held her by the hips across his hims. She was about to ride him like a cow girl.

"If you just do that again... the hip thing." Daryl moaned.

_Oh. My. God._

"Daryl I'm so sorry I've groped you and Oh My God!" Carol tried to move but he was still holding her his.

"I'm nearly there." He moaned. "You sure you don't want to finish this?"

Carol's face was flaming even though it was dark through the tiny crack with the moon light shinning in the bedroom she could see the lust in his eyes. No wonder she basically molested him while he slept. She couldn't help it she rolled her hips again and he reached across to the night stand to grab a condom. She leaned down to kiss him some more, she was so turned on she wasn't sure she should be making a decision on sleeping with Daryl or not if she should get off and think about it some more.

"You sure you want to?" He was breathy as he asked her, she wanted to, she probably would have had he not woken her up. "Yes or no?" He handed her the condom to make the choice for them.

'Yes... but..." Carol tried to think of all the reasons why they shouldn't and why it wasn't a good idea and she come up with nothing. 

"But?"

"But tomorrow... what happens then?" Carol asked him. 

He lay back on his pillow looking at her, his dick was out and he was hard, and she was asking about tomorrow. "We date? Whatever you want... I'll be here till you tell me to leave." He didn't know what else to say, he didn't expect to even have a change to go there with Carol tonight when he woke she had her hands in his boxers playing with his hard dick. She climbed on top and he realized she was sleeping. Maybe this wasn't something they should even think about until they both thought about it some more. "I'm going to get up."

"Are you mad at me?" Carol half rolled off him, she looked at the time and it was still early.

"I just... I gotta get my shit together." Daryl walked stiffly to the bathroom. Carol watched him go and she looked at the clock. It was only two. What the hell had she done. She heard the shower go on in the bathroom and she flopped back on the bed and tried not to have dirty thoughts about him jacking off in the bathroom because that clearly was what he was doing because she did that to him. She had the crazy thought to go join him at least to try help him. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and padded her feet towards the bathroom.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last chapter, thanks for reviewing and supporting me through this fic. Not a big smutty one but... maybe next time. I'm trying to get back into the groove again. xox ~Rambles~

Carol stood outside the bathroom door, she had two choices. She was at the crossroad for her and Daryl's relationship where they could take it one way or the other. Be together from tonight or they could take it slow and keep having erotic dreams until they made it to the next step. She really didn't want to take it slow but he would keep it quiet from Jordan until she felt that he was ready to deal with a full on relationship with child included. That was a big step, she hoped she could keep it all apart, Daryl and Jordan getting to know each other and her and Daryl getting to know each other. Or she could go back to bed and pray morning would come quickly.

She opened the bathroom door pushing it open taking a step inside.

"Daryl..."

"Hm..." She heard something drop to the ground.

"Can I join you?"

Daryl's head stuck out the shower curtain, he had a puzzled sleepy look on his face.

"Like... join me in the shower?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm naked..." Daryl's ducked back behind the curtain and his voice come over the curtain.  

"I know... I can get naked too. Lets stop playing games," Carol told him.

She heard a snicker coming through the curtain. "I mean..."

Carol heard some movement and wondered what he was doing, he stuck his head out of the shower again.

"Did I get it wrong? You don't want to?" Carol asked him.

"I want to... I just thought it would be dark and..."

"Daryl I know what you are hiding, I'll wait for you in the bedroom ok," Carol slipped out of the bathroom.

Two minutes later he come into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Carol was in bed waiting for him to come back, the lights were out and she couldn't see him but could hear him banging into things around his bedroom. He was still damp and cold when he slipped back under the sheets. He shook with cold and moved close to her.

"You're freezing, and still wet!" Carol growl him.

"I thought you might change your mind." Daryl wrapped his arms around her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about!" He said quietly.

"Daryl... we need to acknowledge it, what are you going to say to Jordan when he sees."

"He won't see..." Daryl mumbled.

"Daryl that boy knows no boundaries he's not going to see a closed door as a reason not to come in," Carol said quietly, "Is what happened to you the reason you backed away from us?"

"Do we have to do this now?" Daryl asked her.

"No we don't... I just want to let you know that we can talk about it."

"My dad did it alright..." Daryl rolled away and flung his legs over the side of the bed. "He's the reason why... why..."

Carol moved behind him wrapping her arms around him coming to his side, "The reason you didn't think you would be a good dad?"

"Yeah... I was scared... I still am... what if I'm like him?" Daryl asked her.

Carol moved around him so she was sitting sideways on his knee, he had no choice but to acknowledge her and listen to her. She kissed him on his mouth quickly. 

"You know why I kept sending you photos?" Carol asked him. "Even though we didn't really know each other that well, you were a good man. Until you left me pregnant and alone... but... I hoped that one day you would come around."

Daryl kissed her his lips softly kissing hers. She leaned right into him and he was suddenly aware that he was naked very naked. His arms went right around her pulling her close to him. "I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying sorry." Carol kissed him again.

"Well thanks for taking a chance on me... and not dating Shane Walsh..." Daryl threw that in there just in case.

"I'm not going to date him. You are at the end of my yellow brick road." Carol moved around and straddled him. She bent her head kissing him some more. Daryl worked at getting her pants off her, he slipped his hand between her legs to help her on her way. Still sitting on the side of his bed he slid her down him both of them coming together for the first time in five years. Carol taking a chance on Daryl and Daryl letting his walls down. When they finished they rolled onto the bed whispering and kissing each other for a bit longer. Daryl's eyes went to the box of condoms on the night stand.

"Your mates gonna be pissed we didn't use those." Daryl whispered.

"Don't worry I'll just tell her we did it." Carol whispered back, "I mean we used them... we used the whole box."

"Good plan." 

 

 

 


End file.
